untainted space

'I’m choosing happiness over suffering, I know I am. I’m making space for the unknown future to fill up my life with yet-to-come surprises.'
- Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat. Pray. Love.

I'm in the process of creating space. Small chunks of time untainted by notions of how I should fill them. Space where time is its own author. 

This came into focus during a spontaneous, less-than-a-week-in-advance, cash-in-airline-miles type trip to Joshua Tree last November. Time was given permission to author something beautiful. Uncovering a vastness deeper than physical smallness as we jumped boulder to boulder, with the sun as our clock, and mounds as our spatial markers.

A childlike curiosity to roam freely and rather aimlessly was sparked. Curiosity lacking rules and “I should know betters”; lacking schedules and insecurities of how others perceive you. A curiosity I didn’t realize that I missed, that I was craving. In its space, I'd placed boundaries and societal expectations and fears of failing. I didn’t let that space breathe and flourish. So now I’m carving out that space.

I’ve stood by mountains, paddled through seas, and climbed on rocks; boundless spaces where I am physically small. But this is a shift to mental, emotional, often spiritual smallness. It’s a refreshing and terrifying perspective, one that welcomes 'yet-to-come surprises.'

The space starts small. An hour a week. And It’s working. My world is getting more curious by the minute.

 This snap: Greg Balkin

This snap: Greg Balkin